June 4, 2012

armyofklaus asked: so envious of your sex and body positivity. I post a naked picture on tumblr and I feel good about it but part of me is like "no, don't do that" and it makes me think will I regret it in the future? But then I'm like fuck no this is my body and I'll do with it what I want and I'll post it on the internet BUT THEN I don't even know what I think anymorrrrre. Ughhhh. I just want to not give a fuck at all like you do. xoxoxo

Firstly, your ass photo was everything. Love love love.

Secondly, I have lots of bodily and sexual insecurities. I have deleted photos, edited out huge chunks of useable video, and I’ve written pages of word cut ups and essays that I haven’t put out there because I am afraid of judgment and I am afraid of failure. I try so hard not to let these fears influence me, but they do.

All we can do is try our best. This is just the internet, a body is just a body, now is now, then is then, and we must try to do what we feel as much as possible.

3:01am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMjr3Ee
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: sex positivity body positivity bodies queer 
June 3, 2012

coughdropqueen:

Queen was recorded over the past two months. It’s probably the scariest, most honest album I’ve ever made. The songs deal with society’s attitudes towards queerness, heterosexism, institutional hypocrisy and exclusion and the toll a lifetime of shame can take on a person.

“And everybody’s losing, And…everybody’s losing, And everybody’s losing.”

This noise album is layered dissonance perfection. Click the link to download.

Luno and I are collaborating on my next video project, and I am very excited.

10:42pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMj6REp
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: noise anti-folk noise music dissonance influence: yoko ono? 
June 3, 2012
Vices, Zac Slams, 2012. Bombed at the University of Calgary.

Vices, Zac Slams, 2012.

Bombed at the University of Calgary.

10:33pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMj4Hjt
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: queer lgbt lgbtq bdsm s&m twink faggot 
June 2, 2012
Me droning on about my video at the Plaza Theatre in Calgary. I was going for sportswear fetish, or something?

Me droning on about my video at the Plaza Theatre in Calgary. I was going for sportswear fetish, or something?

1:42am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMbAz9U
(Notes: 2)
  
Filed under: what am i even wearing queer lgbt lgbtq zac slams 
June 2, 2012

notjoel asked: what makes you happy when you're sad

If I get sad, I flail wildly and sing along loudly to REALLY CHEESY POP MUSIC, fantasize about a world in which men are free from patriarchy and where ‘maleness’ is what you want it to be, entrap myself in a sleepsack made out of my two duvets and pillows, rewatch episodes of The Thick of It or Girls, or feel all tingly watching that one Dustin Fitch/Cole Hunter video I like again.

12:01am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMatZ_i
(Notes: 2)
  
June 1, 2012
The pearls are the best bit.

The pearls are the best bit.

(Source: youaintthatfierce)

11:46pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMaqN6S
(Notes: 10)
  
Filed under: queer lgbt lgbtq drag queenz first time in drags 
June 1, 2012

birawr asked: you are super cute.

I went to this queer event the other day and I was talking to this guy about how a lot of gay men don’t like gay men that are complicated to deal with, they don’t like multiple identities or blurry lines or subversion. And I was going on and on like usual and I said “I mean, most men wouldn’t date me because I’m such a mess -” and he interrupted me and looked me right in the eyes and said “I don’t think you’re a mess.” and I felt so much at once because on the one hand I’m like “I AM A MESSY MASS OF FEELINGS AND WANTS AND NEEDS AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT” but then on the other hand I was just all fuzzies and “You don’t think I’m a mess? XD”

Anyway! Thanks, I perved your Tumblr and you’re so handsome.

6:24pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMZbdX7
(Notes: 6)
  
June 1, 2012

theunbearableactofliving asked: eeep! I loved your response and cannot believe someone else feels the same way, you have no idea how much crap I get from others in the queer community about my "differing" opinions on gay marriage and I've been accused of hindering the gay movement with my beliefs as they are viewed as "counter" productive to the achievement of equality. Thanks a million, Eddy~

You are beyond welcome. And I guarantee you I know exactly how much crap you’ve got from people in the community about your opinions of gay marriage. If I got a blowjob every time a “GAY ACTIVIST!!!!!” told me I “give the gay community a bad name”, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between cumming and breathing in.

6:03pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMZWURI
(Notes: 3)
  
June 1, 2012

Eddy asked me about my opinion on “the legalization of gay marriage.” but he asked thru fanmail and I dunno how to respond with that so I’m just gonna make a text post.

He says: “Being queer myself I condone equality under the law for the LGBTQ community, yet cannot help but feel as though with the legalization of gay marriage we are losing a part of our queer culture and assimilating into heterocentric, binarist modes of living. So in conclusion I think gays SHOULD have the right to marry, but should not WANT to get married.”

All marriage should be abolished. Whenever I meet people who are married, I always ask them why they got married. A woman I asked this to the other day got flustered and eventually burst out with “I don’t know, no-one’s ever asked me that!” She couldn’t even muster up a half-hearted “Ohh, we were so in love, blah blah blah.”

I know one married gay couple, they kind of inspired this actually, and they are as awful as most mainstream straight men. I could seriously write a book out of all the shitty things they have said about other gay people in front of me and all the arguments we’ve had, and I’ve only met them a handful of unfortunate times! They are walking macho bullshit. I would not be surprised if you told me that they are straight men who just pretend to be a gay couple so they can put down gay men and get away with it.

If you’re gay and you get married AND YOU DON’T HAVE VALID REASON (i.e. mortgage, medical things), you’re a fucking sellout. Especially if you take your wedding seriously and you turn it into a gigantic carnival charade to impress your five hundred closest friends, or you do it to prove how normal you are. I’d rather send all my closest friends a sex-tape to validate my relationship than have them all COME TO MY WEDDING!!11!!!!1!

5:36pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMZQ2Fl
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: gay marriage gay couples relationships queer marriage queer lgbt 
June 1, 2012

notjoel asked: i would still love your flaccid penis

This one time I worked all day and was all sweaty and dirty and then this disgusting human being I knew was like “come over!” so I did and he was like “I wanna suck!” and I was like “uhh, no, I’m all musty and gross.” but he begged me and then stopped halfway thru and was like “your dick tastes like piss” and chugged orange juice like he was dying and then he cried and pulled the duvet over his head because he couldn’t deal with the situation or something. And then I put my underwear back on and sank into the floor and through the layers of the earth until I got to the center where it was hot but fun because there were no people there and then when I came back up I made this and this about him.

4:37pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMZBqJ_
(Notes: 5)
  
May 31, 2012

chzane asked: fuck those people and how they sit... It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their insecurities with themselves and trying to derive power by any scrap they can, saying shit like that exposes them for the powerless fools they are. Or I could be totally wrong, it wouldn't be the first time. I love your body and if I met you I'd probably like they way you sit, especially if I was on your lap.

Right?!? How does someone who’s been abused even sit?!

Thanks! Also, my lap is like super comfy because I’ve got fat thighs and I’m half-latino and all testosterone so I’m always warmmmmmmm.

10:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMWjm1c
(Notes: 1)
  
May 31, 2012

notjoel asked: i think i'm in love with you

I perved your pics and you’re gorge.

Reasons people should love me: I’m single, I have a dick that “works” approx 26% of the time and has been described by past lovers as “not a bad size” and “you better not have an erectile dysfunction”, I make fun of myself so you don’t have to, I’m open, not really seeing anyone right now, objectively “good” taste in music, I’m needy which will work to your advantage, oh, and I’m single. Forgot to mention that.

10:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMWhjid
(Notes: 3)
  
May 31, 2012

While I know I’m cute and all that, I have been super paranoid about my body language lately.

At this queer group thingy I go to I talked about how this therapist I saw asked if I’d been abused as a child because of the way I was sat, and I said how gross it was for her to ask that.

And then this woman from the group who I really do like, and I’m sure she didn’t mean to upset me, said: “I can see what the therapist meant, you do have the mannerisms of a person who has been abused. Like, yeah, the way you sit and stuff.”

So now I’m super self-conscious about how I sit, and how I just “move” or hold my body or whatever because I don’t want anyone to think I’m some kind of victim. It sucks.

10:11pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMWg0lc
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: whine whine whine queer lgbt 
May 31, 2012

anarkitsch asked: how are you such a dreamboat? <3

Thanks! I’m serving ugly boy right now and it makes me happy!

9:49pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMWZnzx
(Notes: 3)
  
May 31, 2012

I always feel so weird after an art showing or a film screening.

No-one’s ever taught me how I’m supposed to feel after such an explosion of emotion and anxiety. Am I supposed to forget about this project and rush into the next one? Am I supposed to “learn from” the project and how it was received and alter my next project accordingly?

I suppose that next time, I want some kind of audience participation. I hate the passivity of an audience, I hate them sat in their chairs just watching or drifting round a gallery murmuring to each other about how “interesting” everything is.

My next video is meant to screen in September, and I want the viewers to have to “do” something.

My head feels heavy.

10:48am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z13HDwMUFrE8
(Notes: 2)
  
Filed under: art artist feelings what is going on?